About Esther
Hey, It’s me, Esther. The artist behind the beautiful paintings, if I can say that about my artworks. I am a 20-year-old Dutch art student.
I was always painting when I was a kid, but it was nothing serious. I painted for an hour and the painting has to be done at the end of that hour.
In the beginning of 2022 I got into a burn out and a trauma that I developed through my side job. I had to quit my school, my sport, my job, my hobbies, everything. I just got stuck on the sofa basically. I was scared to be alone, scared to go outside. Just scared about things that at first I didn’t thought about. Thinking about what can go wrong every time, thinking only negative. I was so tired and got into a depression. I was scared what was happening to me. In that time I questioned God. “Why does this happen to me? It was going so good.” A little frustrated you know, just all of a sudden, my life came into a dip.
Like a quote I would never forget: sometimes god doesn’t change your situation because he’s busy changing you. That was in my point as well.
But in that time, I didn’t lose faith. In that time I read the Bible a lot, because I didn’t know what else to do. Eventually in August 2022 or so, I asked God a question in sleepless nights for I think 5 times or so. “If the road that I went for, wasn’t the right road for me, will You help me and direct me to the place I need to be. Will You be there at my side and help me get through this.” I prayed that a lot, and for a long time it didn’t feel answered. In October of 2022 I started drawing out of boredom. I got a little energy, but I was still scared to go outside. I started drawing portraits, I don’t know why. I was never able to draw portrait so I thought, I have a lot of time, let’s try it. I had to wait a year to start school. School in the Netherlands start in September. And it was October. I started to get better and better and I got more energy.
At this point, when it went well, I forgot about the crying nights I prayed for God. I went from colored pencil, to paint and trying all different kind of media’s. I was getting better and better. So much better that I got to go to do my own art exhibition in Belgium. Giving artworks to famous Dutch singers. Started to really getting into art. But one day, in church, the preacher said: Sometimes, God needs to break you, to build you. That the road isn’t an easy flat road. Sometimes you get an hill, sometimes a valley. When I heard that, I remembered the nights that I was crying and praying in bed. I remembered that I asked God for help. In a flash my mind just changed. I suddenly knew that this, what I was doing, was the road God chose for me. That He wants me to do art. So from that day on, I started making art for Him. Showing His grace and creation through my art. And now, in two years. I am starting an art business with a Christian background/middle ground. Selling my art to everyone who related and love God. Now I just finished my first year of art school and I want to continue doing it for the rest of my life.
In two years, I went from one person to another. From believing in Jesus, to having an actual relationship with Him. Knowing He is with me. And it was hard, it still is. I never had a full week in school, because it is to exhausting for me. But knowing that this is the road He wants me to go, it gives me so much motivation to keep going.
Knowing that a lot of young people is going through depression and hard times. Especially now. I want to share that you need to ask God. And it is not getting answered directly. For me it took a year! For some it takes a week, for some 5 years, for some a lot more. But knowing and asking it, will even get you some calmness. When I prayed in the night, I got so calm and I felt His presence. My heartbeat went down and I got so calm. And that feeling is indescribable. But when you feel it, you know instantly.
